Horse Man (Trustfundulapagus)

The last of an ancient race, whose ancestors once roamed freely across the vast Eurasian land-mass. Originally forest-dwellers – the species now dwell in lofts, mostly in Williamsburg and Dumbo. For assimilation purposes, they wear leather waist-coats which cover their horse-like torsos. During the 1980s, their numbers increased dramatically, especially in lower Manhattan, south of Houston Street. Activities include: Backing up to large, blank canvas, lifting tail, and extruding paint-like substance. Their natural prey: gallery dealers, art critics, and museum curators, whom they blind with their physical beauty – their long flowing manes, their muscular necks, their great white teeth. He is a most graceful beast, engendering adoration, especially among privileged, shallow, hip, young and attractive heterosexual white women, whom he supplies with really amazing un-fucking-believable top-grade cocaine. This man-horse made possible by grants from Texaco, Enron, Philip Morris and other corporations owned by his parents.