The Problem of DoughnutsMeghan Punschke
He ordered the Baker's Dozen, but to his chagrin, what was supposed to have been a melodious blend of doughnuts turned out to be just jellies and éclairs. Originally, he declared both equally delicious, but could not hide his disappointment, for he had anticipated a bear claw or an apple fritter. As he sat there, on his usual park bench— faced with the problem of doughnuts, he pawed at the box, and contemplated this gross error. … The puffed choux paste of three erect éclairs. delicately rose above the others, in sophisticated air. The first, a custard, had tawny icing that glistened golden, in the morning sun. He grazed his finger across the top and discovered, Belgian Butterscotch. But, he dared not eat it, despite its foreign intrigue. For he would certainly want more, which he could not afford. The others were lighter— filled with whipped cream. He thought that one could easily digest fifty, and still feel empty. This, was unjustifiable. And yet, it seemed unfair for such a confectionary delight to be cramped in the same quarters as the basic pastries. He noted that— the baker took great care in plumping up those éclairs, but the jellies had been pumped full in an assembly line, then thrown into a massive vat, where they fried until they were fat. Clearly, A jelly never had a chance at being an éclair. It could have been baked instead of fried. It could have been jammed with raspberry instead of grape, or even orange marmalade, But, ne'r a fancy vanilla pastry cream. One particular jelly had a puncture wound, (a casualty of mass production) it oozed jeweled contents, onto two adjacent comrades. For some reason, this slightly sickened him, and they were deemed unfit for consumption. He surveyed the other seven. One of the whipped éclairs was lightly dusted with the powder of its enemy, and in some sort of retaliation, elitist éclair icing, had rubbed off onto the entire jelly section. These, were unacceptable. … He grew weary with hunger, on this ill-spent morning. And so, the time had come, to do what had to be done. Despite their flaws, It seemed there was more potential in jellies. He ate three.
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