Behemoth Myth/Origins of the Butter Lamb
The god that lived in the local river felt
that his sacrifices were shrinking paltry.
He sent a child and live-stock eating dragon
to set the inherently good but self-orbiting folk straight.
Hilarity did not ensue (unless you count chaos as a form
of hilarity, which the people of this land most emphatically did not).
The throned monarch posted a reward of half the kingdom
and all of the beautiful princess in exchange for the dragon’s heartstop.
Many a brave knight came back limbless or not at all.
After the graveyard of the firstborn was filled to capacity,
a halogen-hued shoemaker’s apprentice lightbulbed upon an idea:
Stuff a lamb corpse full of sulfur and fireworks and set it out as dragon bait.
A Trojan Ovis aries, if you will. It was a plan only a master-
baiter could have come up with [Eds. Note: Sorry]. What I mean is,
it worked. The bait, once swallowed, lodged itself into one of the dragon’s
three stomachs. When the behemoth next went to exhale flame,
the bait ignited and blew the dragon into purple and green confetti.
The people of the land commemorate this event by eating butter
molded into the shape of a lamb.
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