What Not to WearNathan Logan
No one has come out and said it, but I get plenty of furrowed brows when I go walking to the grocery in purple corduroy pants and a shirt showing raisins raining on a beach. For your information, my shirt keeps me cool and displays my readiness to par-tay. Dogs howl when I approach, but someone’s always playing a high-pitched saxophone. When I get to the grocery store, I hide the red and green grapes. Whenever I see crayons, I’ll open the package and put the purple shades in the front. I always dress up as Grimace for Halloween and this puzzles my neighbors. It’s clear that no one understands my style; people think I’m stuck in some kind of time warp. I only have one thing to tell them: if I don’t bring purple back, who will?
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