For Those of You Who Don't Know Me

"For those of you who don’t know me,"
said the woman, following up competitively
on the group of young lawyers who had started
their toasts the same way, "I am
blah blah, and I've known the groom
since blah blah." And then she talked
about herself and her own life for what
seemed an eternity, massaging the groom’s
shoulders the whole while, practically sticking
her breasts in his ear and licking
his cummerbund right off his tux.
When she finally finished, the bride
pulled her in for a cheek-to-cheek
lipsmack, and then tossed the woman away
as she dribbled off her last order: "You
take good care of him now, you hear!"