Personal Demand Curve

If the button is accidentally pushed. If sell, sell, sell! If the hedge fund's computers malfunction – the downside of 10:1 leverage. As predicted, mean-reversion theory is proven correct, though no one expected a result of zero. (We really are short-sighted.) The floor traders, for once, are behaving appropriately.

The Federal Reserve raises interest rates on all things yellow. M0 is measured by the amount of yellow paint in circulation. My shoebox and bedroom safe contain a fortune of golf tees. Through careful planning of my miniature chopstick, tongue depressor, and record needle business, I become a tycoon, a Young Turk.

But all the lumber mills and binding manufacturers have shuttered their loading bays. I fail to corner the market, invest in myself. There is still demand. An old market trend born new: thanks to careful monetary policy, paper currency makes a comeback. My tees do not make suitable band-aids as paper cuts increase. The opening bell

and small fires throughout my neighborhood. Wooden piercings become a fad. Effigies to wealth. Stories for grandchildren. Once again, people return home with their bundles of consumer goods, though fractionally smaller than last year.

I wasn't warned about my negative savings rate. Mr. Bernanke: what will it take to make me inelastic again?