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confidence conflicted

Laine Ballard

“conflicted,” a pop psychology term
we go out into, alone, almost
thanksgiving: a gluttony, a gratitude, a grasp
to begin with, either we own it or it owns us
we enter the country alone, conflicted:

a usage problem        for the terrible things
we said and did to each other, what friends are for
what got us here        shuffled, dealt out:
worthless, vacancy, i felt
ass on the ground, the American soil
the United States, a problem in the usage of the words

mine/not mine, safe/unsafe, family/friend
the term hope in our chests
in our cities, the women prepare for marriage
the lesbians live like reptiles: lebetians

where does assurance come from. what is trust,
thrust                      a chest full of items?
how about three things:
                              space heater, file cabinet, silicone phallus
various reptiles have a third eye

to thank to hold, not too tightly
to thank to let it run through, be used and depleted

Laine Ballard

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